“Umm, my name is Chris and I’m um, going to talk about a
project I, uh, worked on last spring.”
“This is like, really important, because like, it impacts a
lot of people, you know?”
“I don’t know this dude but I was like, ‘I’m going to just hold your hand.”*
With little exception, excessive use of verbal
fillers--umms, uhhhs, likes, yeaaahhs--makes people sound stupid. Nothing can kill credibility in speaking
faster than umms and likes, and this doesn’t just go
for my freshman public speaking students. It’s equally true for business folks,
academics presenting at conferences (ahem), people asking for raises, wives
and husbands discussing life decisions, children talking to parents, parents talk
to children. Everyone!
So, what do you do if you find yourself with an “Umm”
problem? In my years teaching speech, I’ve found four things especially
helpful...
1. Realization is the
first step to recovery. Believe it or not, people may not be aware of how
often they use a particular verbal filler. For me, I tend to over-use “okaaaaay”
as a transition between thoughts and “like” when I mean “said.” For example, I
might say, “She was like ‘I hated that move!’” instead of “She said she hated
that movie.” Of course, I didn’t realize I had these fillers until I listened to
a recording of myself. As with my speech students, I highly recommend recording
yourself in conversation or when giving a presentation. Yes, it’s awkward. Yes,
it’s painful to listen to recordings. But you know what, it’s HELPFUL. Hearing
how you sound, and even better, watching how you speak, can give you lots of
information about how to improve your speech patterns.
2. Use a pregnant
pause. Although “umms” definitely increase with nervousness, some fillers
are really a reflection of information processing. I often find myself using
a long “Ummmmmmmmm” when my students ask difficult questions that require careful wording, for instance. The “umm” adds nothing and likely influences how they interpret my subsequent answers. A solution? The pregnant pause. Once you’ve got the realization down, start paying attention to when you use
your favorite fillers. Try to catch yourself in the act and next time, instead
of saying “umm” or “uhh” or “yeahhh,” try silence. Just take a pause for a second or two, and allow yourself time to think.
Over time, see how your use of fillers drops! (I found that it took awhile for me to implement the pause although I did the umm "catching" pretty easily. Don't beat yourself up though, changing behavior takes time.)
3. Find an
accountability partner. The mean old school marm that I am, I typically assign my students to have someone hold
them accountable for their fillers. By this I mean, I have them choose the two
fillers they use most often—typically “umm” and “like.” And then I give them an
index card and ask them to write the offending words on either side. The
students are instructed to give the card to a trusted friend or relative (I
usually time this exercise over a holiday or long weekend), and simply ask that
person to record the number of fillers used over the course of a meal or
activity. Then students are asked to reflect upon the experience. For the students who actually take the exercise seriously, the
results are profound when they realize just how much they rely upon a particular word or phrase. Again, most people don’t realize how extensively they
lean on extra useless words in their speech. A twist is to have someone ring a bell, interrupt you or make you put money in a jar when you use an offending word. (If I tried the last idea with my favorite expletive, I'd probably be broke. ha!)
4. Practice, practice, practice. Okay, so this is mostly aimed at presentations but a great way to reduce verbal fillers is to PRACTICE what you are going to say. Yeah, out loud. Over and over. Being familiar with the information and practicing how you are going to say things will build your confidence and help you avoid relying on extra fillers. I promise.
Go forth and speak well my friends. And let me know if you have any other hot tips!
xoxo,
shawna
* Even though I will likely go on to lead a successful
career with many publications, I will never, ever, ever, EVER forget seeing
that god awful quote in print from the Associated Press! And I will certainly
never ever ever EVER forget hearing it mocked on NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me.”
As I note in
this guide to managing the media: Do NOT give interviews when half
asleep. And dear journalists across the world, how about you make an effort not
to make your interviewees sound stupid? I’m certain I had better quotes than
that!
Labels: communication, fillers, public, public speaking, saying, stop, Things that Irritate Me, umm, verbal
