Pages

▼

Monday, September 3, 2012

Political commentary on Facebook, a call for civility, a plea for self-editing

Yes. Yes. Yessss.
A few weeks ago, I read a blog post from a woman who decided to quit Facebook. She reported feeling "free" and not missing it one bit. At first I thought, no way! I'd miss seeing snarky/funny/compelling status updates from my friends. I'd miss scrolling through pictures and watching kidlets grow tall. Hell, I'd miss knowing about people's birthdays, births and weddings. And I would sure miss venting about life.

And then the Republican National Convention hit. And tomorrow, the Democratic National Convention. And now I'm seriously considering quitting Facebook, or at least taking a really long hiatus.

The thing is, I'm watching people on my "friends" list--folks who have been in my home, together, and have enjoyed each other's company--rant, rave, complain and cajole about "the other side."

 Evil, evil Republicans! Who ON EARTH would vote for those lying cads Romney and Ryan? Well, friend, several of the people you broke bread with at my house in the last year. Bleeding heart, money wasting liberals! Who ON EARTH would keep that no-good Obama in office? Well, friend,  a number of folks you consider lovely people outside the realm of politics. Mmhmm.

I despise, despise election years. Not only do I have politicians in my face, on the phone, on the radio, on TV and online ranting at me (whilst wasting millions and millions of dollars, mind you), I have friends--dear friends--lobbying for their cause and lobbing insults left and right. It startles me how divisive party lines seem online. Folks who not only tolerate each other, but celebrate together and love each other can get downright nasty in the abstract when discussing "those" people across the proverbial aisle.

Now, I much prefer passion to apathy, but what good do poisonous Facebook posts do for the world? Not a damn thing.

Yeah, maybe I am a Polly Anna, but wouldn't
the world be a lovelier place if we did some
thinking before speaking? Photo credit.
As with most things, it's not "what you say, but how you say it" that bugs. In fact, on one evening last week when my Facebook feed was abuzz with Republican-bashing sentiments, a friend posted a heart-wrenching narrative about her past experience using food stamps. She described in stark detail what it was like to rely on assistance while working, raising a child alone and pursuing education, and how grateful she is to live in a country that had support available. Her story--a rebuke aimed at Mike Huckabee's* speech and his "uncle sugar" comment--touched me in ways that none of the outraged/outrageous retorts have. It was personal. It put a human face on a major issue. And what's more, it did not disparage anyone. In fact, it got me to think about the issue which I believe should be the point of all this politics nonsense anyway.

So, dear friends, as the Democratic National Convention gets underway this week and as this election year really heats up (UGH), I ask please, please, please post with civility. Consider  your audience before sharing ugly diatribes. And remember, those people on the "other side" likely include friends, relatives, teachers, students, and lots of people you respect and admire, and just happen to disagree with.

Officially done with my soapbox.

xoxo,
shawna

* Correction! Originally I'd attributed this quote to Paul Ryan.

4 comments:

  1. KarenSeptember 5, 2012 at 3:23 PM

    This seriously drives me crazy! I don't see what it accomplishes to tell everyone who isn't voting the same as you that they're idiots. I have to try so hard to bite my tongue and not fire back insults (which would be insanely easy). I was hesitant for a while to even mention which candidate I liked for fear of an angry Facebook mob coming to beat down my door with pitchforks and torches. It's hard to take a lot of that stuff especially when you're in the minority. As of yet, the only way I feel I can stop it is to not respond at all to the political posts. Not likely it'll work, but oh well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. heidiSeptember 7, 2012 at 1:13 AM

    I appreciate this post and love that "THINK" photo. I don't engage in much political debate--out loud. But I argue with people in my mind. I think that thinking those inner diatribes through--("Well, even if I'm sure, NOW, that my attitude is true--is it going to be helpful or useful(inspiring) to express it? Is it a necessary/good use of my time to say this, much less IMAGINE saying it? Is any of this KIND?")--BEFORE I get wound up and into them would be immensely helpful and relieving to me. It also might help me relate, out loud, to other people in a less reactionary and more thoughtful, useful, kind way.


    Thanks you for sharing this!!!!


    p.s. Also enjoyed & benefited from your have kids/ not have kids post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. thebluemuse, phdSeptember 7, 2012 at 9:06 AM

    Karen, I hear you! I'm gun-shy after the few times I've ever mentioned anything semi-political and gotten barraged by comments. Can't wait until the election is over!

    Heidi, me too! I have a running dialogue with folks that they never know about. Glad you liked the THINK photo. I saw it and although it's aimed at little ones, I think it perfectly applies to us adult-types, too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. heidiSeptember 8, 2012 at 12:00 AM

    I'm glad I checked to see if you commented back!

    I've continued to "THINK" about this! Something bugged me that I saw today--just very slightly but I wanted to answer back but couldn't--I think the thing that bugged me was a sign, so, what could I do, yell at a sign?

    Anyway, obviously, whatever got to me, did so at the very edge of my consciousness. I only really became aware of it when I noticed that there was some inner monologue revving up, a whole arguing thing... Oh! I know what it was. Something about unions, I saw, somewhere. And I thought, "I really should correct them so they know the right thing to think about this."

    ????!!!! That sounds like the thinking of a crazy person, doesn't it? But again I wasn't consciously aware of these thoughts--they were more vague reactings than thoughts--but something did MAKE me aware of the impulse. And then I remembered your post and the "THINK" photo! And I thought of the "inspiring" part, which I link to "usefulness"--is saying whatever it is going to be useful? Should I tell people the right way to think? And I realized... Um... Well... It's not actually useful. Attitudes don't form that way. The problem is--at least, as I understand it, this is a big part of the problem--as a society we assume that taking STRONG, FORCEFUL action is going to produce STRONG, FORCEFUL results. We think if we swing at people harder, they will cooperate more. Since my background is in education and psychology, I'm most aware of this where it concerns children. We think that the harder we coerce, the better they'll cooperate and learn.

    I get a lot of my understanding of this from having read William Glasser. In fact, asking you about Glasser is a big part of why I wrote this whole thing out! I didn't realize it would take so long to explain--internally it was very quick. "Unions... yell at them. Wait, that's coercion. Coercion doesn't really work. Remember Glasser?! He's awesome. Try to act on what you know, from sources like Glasser."

    Anyway--I finally got there--Glasser. Do you happen to know his work? From your recent fitness piece I got the idea you'd at least like it. Just fit it in with all your graduate reading! :D

    Well: that's it. I just wanted you to know I'd continued to reflect on what you'd written... and it connected to previous understandings... and helped nudge my thinking/reacting along a little. Make me more conscious. Emotions can be so persuasive; and I really respect the wisdom of emotions; but it can be hard sometimes where you have deeper, core knowledge and values, and then this superficial but strong emotional reaction that contradicts the deeper stuff. Often the less-wise part wins out.

    Connecting to what you wrote about conscious communication, was helpful for me in taking another step, making a little more sense of this conflict, becoming a little bit more aware.

    And was fun, too!

    ReplyDelete