Dear Sir(s) or Madam(s),
I want to sincerely thank you for taking the time out of your undoubtedly busy schedule to drop by 24 Hour Fitness on the first day I've graced its presence in a month. I just knew it was a red letter day. I can't describe to you my surprise and delight at being paged overhead during my last walk/study session before the start of the biggest exam of my life this Thursday. That giant puddle of gas you left in the parking stalls surrounding my car? Simply genius work.
I especially want to thank you for requiring me to call the fire department and bring out four of our city's finest to inspect the damage. Did you know AAA won't tow a car until the gas tank has been assessed and patched by the fire department? I am sure they had nothing better to do than fiddle with my vehicle today. Oh and they say thank you for hitting that apartment complex around the corner yesterday. Those people were especially pleased, too.
Did I mention how great it was to pay for a tow truck and spend two hours waiting for the police to come and take my statement? I thought it was particularly thoughtful of you to choose the side of the building without video cameras so my report makes just about no difference whatsoever. I just cannot wait to see my shiny new gas tank! I'm sure the dealer will give me an excellent price. And thank you, truly, for doing this at the gym where I got to spend three hours sitting in sweaty workout clothes. That part took the whole experience to a new level of outstanding.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy that less-than quarter tank of gas you ripped off. I'm certain you'll use it to go far in life.
xoxo,
shawna
P/S Next time you might consider a car with a larger gas tank than the compact Corolla. Just saying.
Shawna -
ReplyDeleteDon't sweat calling the FD out to patch your tank, it's a no-brainer. It's a couple of tablespoons of Plug N' Dike, a little H20 and it's good to tow. Kitty litter on the spill, done deal. It's when you run over something and put a fist sized, jagged hole in it that it's a pain in the neck. Gas thieves usually make a neat little round hole. Scrap metal on the freeway - not so much.
Check with your insurance on the new tank. Your comp. coverage might cover it. Initially, they will likely say no. Threaten litigation and a call to the state insurance commissioner, it might change their mind.
Unless, of course you're like me and carry a big deductible. Then you will have to eat that tank. It shouldn't be to bad with a little ketchup on it.
All kidding aside, I feel your pain. I'm tired of all of the petty, B.S. crime that goes on. I'm afraid it's going to get worse, with the state releasing all sorts of non-violent offenders.
Good luck.
Yeah, I'm probably eating this tank. I'll let you know if ketchup makes it go down better. ;) I'm tired of the petty crime, too. I was just talking to my friend who pastors a local church. Some jerks stole the copper wire that connects their power/internet. The church replaced it with aluminum thinking no one would bother with the cheaper alternative. The next day, the jerks stole the wiring AGAIN. What is with the world?? Screwing with someone's car is one thing, but jacking a church? Twice? That's horrible karma.
ReplyDeleteOh honey. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh god. Seriously? Jerks. (Also I am going to try and be a real commenter now! I'm on a mission to suck less).
ReplyDelete